how to...

I received a late night call Friday from my favorite ensign who should have been in bed with the lights out. Apparently today (Saturday) they had inspections, which means everything had to be nice and neat and in perfect order- so the khaki uniform had to be crisply ironed... only hiccup: how to turn on the iron. To be fair Kellen never irons here; I hardly ever iron unless I have a sewing project. I gave the best advice I could give not knowing what iron they had or the settings, or if the steam feature would leak brown grossness onto the uniform. I gave the warning and asked if the outlet was working. I don't know if my advice helped or not. Hopefully so. The ladies in the company may have had a slight edge over the guys in this regard.

As for me, I hit my low shortly after my last post. I'd been doing superbly. Managing house and work and estrangement from my sweet husband with ease. I don't know what happened, just too much free time that day I guess. Too much time to feel his absence- just the day to day stuff. I've been sleeping like a champ and am not afraid to be alone, it's just not easy do be alone when you're accustomed to spending so much time with someone.

He happened to phone me about an hour into my pity party. He tells me that things are really going so much better than before and that anytime he starts to stress or get anxious about what they're doing, all he has to do is remind himself of the miserable existence of OCS and he has to laugh b/c it's nothing in comparison. He's still taking it quite seriously to be sure- I heard a bit of anxiety in his voice when he called about the pending inspection, but I'm sure the worst of OCS is still likely better than the best of OCS.

Kellen asked me if I was really doing fine, or if I was suffering quietly... and I was honest. He responded so sweetly that it made me miss him all the more. Sometimes I wonder why God would be so good to give me this man, and then I wonder too why He would ask us to spend so much of our time apart. It's a question that satan likes to throw into my head regularly and I have to constantly be on guard against feeling deprived the right to a "normal" life.

It's all relative- the way we met and fell in love wasn't exactly normal, and there's a bit of novelty in the possibility of living abroad, etc, but in reality there will be more times than I like that Kellen will be away, or we will be living far removed from our family, or we'll be moving just when we're getting used to an area. The military life is not what I ever envisioned for myself... but if it's part of God's vision for my life then I'd better try on a new pair of eyes: His.